It drives us nuts to see The Bachelorette star Ashley Hebert still pining away for that mean, manipulative Bentley Williams. We asked Dr. Alisa Robinson, PhD., of askdoctoralisa.com what could be behind the sadly flickering torch Ashley’s carrying for the cad. As Dr. Alisa explains in our exclusive Wetpaint interview, it’s a morbid match of emotional gamesmanship between two wounded players.
Wetpaint: Why can’t Ashley just get over the guy already?
Dr. Alisa Robinson: In terms of Ashley pining over Bentley, first of all, I think it could be do to her own low self-esteem. I mean, she seems uncertain and unsure of herself on the show. She’s been spurned on national television by falling for someone who doesn’t particularly want her in reality. You have to keep in mind, she’s already essentially been dumped on national TV on The Bachelor, so it makes sense that she’d have some insecurity there. That can play into why she’s pining over him.
The other thing that happens is that kind of want-what-you-can’t-have scenario. I think that happens for both women and men. People can get fixated on someone who’s so-called “hard to get.” That can be due to a couple of things. The competitive nature of people can play into that. But also, a person can be subconsciously drawn to that hard to get person because they think that if they get them, then they’re going to feel better about themselves. So it may not be a conscious process, but subconsciously, they feel like, “Okay, this guy didn’t initially like me, but now he likes me, so I must be good catch.”
But with so many guys to choose from, shouldn’t Ashley have stopped focusing on the worst one in the bunch already?